Archive for August, 2011


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-Frank Sinatra invented the word, "hangover" after a night of wild partying, he found a dead stripper hung over the balcony railing of his hotel room.

-American football got its name when the games inventor, Walter Camp, noticed the ball they were playing with looked liked his obese wife’s foot.

-Known lesbian singer Melissa Etheridge had doctors surgically remove the flap of skin underneath her tongue so she could better perform cunnilingus on her wife.

– All Japanese maple trees have the same amount of leaves when full grown.

-Surprisingly, the human eye weighs exactly 1/2 pound.

-Skittles and M&Ms are made in the same batch.

-The inside of a baseball is made up of electric bands strung together

-Electrocuting a person uses the same amount of electricity as running a microwave for 4 minutes on high

-The better someone is at math, the worse that their handwriting will be

-Love is the most common word in song lyrics of the past 15 years, it can be found in over 58% of them

-Every load of semen has less calories and saturated fat than a bud light and actually contains half of your daily serving of iron

-Eric is the third most common spelling of Eric in the United States, behind Erik and Aric

-Texas has more than 50 head of cattle per person

-Oral sex is illegal in 34 states

-There is only one different ingredient between Nair and Shampoo and it is classified

-Nickleback has sold more albums worldwide since 1995 than The Beatles did their entire career

-Adolf Hitler’s only son, Shaun Hitler, was accidentally sent to a concentration camp and killed.

-The U.S. Post Office actually tried to develop an Internet Post Office, but couldn’t decide the cost of sending an "e-letter."

-Having developed a series of jets that can break the sound barrier, the Russian Air Force is currently trying to break the light barrier.

-African crocodiles can run faster backwards.

-Silly Putty and Napalm share more than 80% of the same ingredients.

-Based on the commercial success of the first Matrix film, Keanu Reeves agreed to do the rest of the series for free.

-There are currently 9 states with no state bird.

-Incubus and Our Lady Peace are the same band.

-The "flat-top" haircut that enjoyed tremendous popularity in the 1990s was actually developed by slave traders who wanted to avoid branding their human cargo.

-One can knock a shark unconscious by throwing flour in its eyes.

-John Rzeznik of Goo Goo Dolls fame and Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails fame are actually brothers. In a 1995 interview with Rolling Stone, Reznor said he changed his name because his birthname sounded "too ethnic." The two haven’t spoken since.

-In terms of sheer mass, Earth’s shark population outweighs the human population.

-80% of bats are, in fact, blind.

– A "wit" is actually a measure of IQ. A "half wit" is equal to 80 IQ points. Most geniuses have an IQ of 160 or higher.

-From birth, all males with sickle-cell anemia have a natural immunity to AIDS.

-The Irish Setter is the only dog capable of seeing in color…but it lacks 3-D vision.

-Prior to selling Oxi-Clean, spokesman Billy Mays worked as a pharmaceutical sales rep.

-When the Coast Guard recovered the black box from John F. Kennedy, Jr.’s plane, "I Believe I Can Fly," was heard playing over the terrified screams of his passengers.

-The Cuban Lung Shark digs itself into sand to hibernate for the winter…on dry land.

-Early Romans believed the moon had "faces," not "phases." Their literature was simply mistranslated.

-My half brother was the lead singer in Our Lady Peace.

-In the true Wolverine origin story, he was hairless due to the adamantium fusion frying his folicles.

-Fish eggs are the main export of New Brunswick, NJ.

-In a true high five all fingers must meet, otherwise it’s called palming.

-Burts Bees actually uses half wasp wax.

-Mercury does have water but it is so hot it is in plasma form.

-Badgers are the only animals that can dig backwards.

-Tree bark is made from decomposed leaves.

-Batman is the official superhero of New York, though Congress considered changing it to Spiderman in 2007.

-Ryan is the most popular boys name in the United States. Melissa is the girls.

-Once striking the iceberg, The Titanic sunk in less than 3 minutes

-Canoes are illegal in Denmark

-Meg Fox is the birth name of Megan Fox

-Golf started when bored baseball players began hitting balls on the ground to each other in 1837

-Eating a pound of potato chips is actually healthier than eating 2 lbs of potatoes

-1 out of 5 condoms is actually ineffective

-When girls are on their periods, the smell of copper will be in the air. This is what attracts bears

-The Gettysburg address was actually written by Samuel Gettysburg, an Asian immigrant who later changed his name.

-The largest recorded volume of ejaculate was 1 and half quarts.

-My great great grandfather’s best friend invented chicken noodle soup.

-Anthony Michael Hall admittedly masturbated on set multiple times while filming The Breakfast Club.

-Shoeless Joe Jackson always wore shoes during sex.

-Pepsi and Coke are exactly the same recipe except the amount of coriander used .

-There are no genetic hiccups preventing humans and apes from effectively interbreeding.

-The use of skoal has been scientifically proven to cure gayness.

-Coke-Cola originally contained a small amount of heroin but heroin-cola sounded stupid

-If tomatoes are left on the vine long enough they will turn bright blue

-Raccoons are the state animal in Maine. Accidentally hitting one with you can can land you 14 days in jail

-Soaking a raisin in water overnight will turn it into a plump grape

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I’m going to do something a little out of character right now and dish out a little sartorial advice.  First, look at your feet.  What have you got on there?  If you’re at the office, I’m guessing it’s a Filene’s basement find: something black with a square toe, an Italian name, and Made in China stamped on the inside.  And that makes me sad.  It should make you sad too.  Don’t get me wrong, the dress shoe is a necessary staple, and your NBs or Chucks or whatever you wear at home are a good foil.  But sometimes you need to put some testosterone on your feet, slather yourself in denim – a la young Paul Newman – and sit in a log cabin with nothing but a buck knife and a head full of sexual repression.

Boots, my friend, are something no self-respecting man should be without.  Real boots.  Not some crappy Timberland knock-offs with pleather and glue holding the soles on. You don’t want some cheap shit – you want to make an investment in some leather that’s gonna last and a boot with a stitched sole that can be resoled when it wears out.

I have a pair of Thorogood 8″ American Heritage moc toes.  You know why they’re called American Heritage?  Because they were made in America.  By hand.  By union workers.  By union workers in fucking Wisconsin (should ring a bell – collective bargaining et al).  They will last forever with a little oil now and then.  Right now they’re over in the corner staring at me, imploring me to go handy-man it up until my hands look like NY strip steaks.  Sometimes I put them on, pour a glass of Rye, and read Faulkner and I can see the hair on my knuckles getting thicker.  I also have a pair of Frye 6″ steel toed work boots.  General Patton wore Fryes.  They used to supply their Jet Boots to service men during WWII.

I’m not claiming that I’m some bad-ass.  I spend most of the day at a computer.  I don’t tear around on an old chopper or work the docks.  But every guy needs to reconnect with his hairy, gun toting progenitors.  Not by throwing on your Red Wings and a pair of $200 jeans to go down to your favorite Greenpoint boutique cafe.  That’s just plain douche-baggery.  But when it’s time to really stomp some shit out.  Back maybe 8 years, I worked with a guy who ran a small saw mill.  He cut trees, planked logs, and drove nails until there was a house where there used to be nothing at all, and he only needed help with the mill after he turned 80 and got sciatica.  I would go down there most days that summer and split time between a cant hook and a chainsaw – not the kind of work you wanna do in a pair of Vans.

So there you have it.  You don’t have to be a steel worker, you just have to want to be a man.  You do want to be a man, don’t you?  I thought so.  Boot up then Mary, and do it while they still make ’em in the U.S. of A.

Oh, and one last thought.  It is never ok to wear Uggs.  Not ever.

But he looks so happy!

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I’ll be honest, I had high hopes for an all out moron-a-thon of a Republican primary leading up to 2012. But other than the Palin doppelganger from Minnesota, the race has been pretty bland.  And even Bachmann has done a pretty good job of keeping the muzzle on, aside from fringe slip-ups like wishing Elvis happy birthday on the anniversary of his death.  That’s not even a Joe Biden quality gaffe.

But while we were all watching the Palin bus tour for some positive indication, something happened I never saw coming.  Texas governor and Chuck Norris besty Rick Perry threw his Stetson in the ring and whipped the media into such a frenzy that they put him in the ‘top tier’ of primary contenders – along with Bachmann (which, in spite of the Iowa straw poll, I still don’t understand) and Mitt Romney.  Lawdy-lawd!  Looks like we finally got ourselves a real ol’ fashioned show down.  Or as they would call it at Texas A&M, Perry’s alma mater, the wobbly H.

Perry will no doubt come out waving the Grand Old Party banner of fiscal responsibility.  His Lieutenant Gov., David Dewhurst, once said, “People could stake me and Governor Perry on the ground and torture us, and we still would not raise taxes.”  Clever.  But Perry, who is a champion of states’ rights, was only able to balance the 2010 Texas state budget by accepting over $16 billion in stimulus funds, which effectively covered 97% of the deficit.

But that’s standard, boring political stuff.  I’m interested in the more scandalous stuff, the stuff that would show up in George magazine if it were still in print.  Namely, how the fuck does a known secessionist run for president?  But like Palin’s connection with the Alaska secessionist party, this seems to be flying under the radar at the moment.

And then there are all the rumors about Perry’s sexual habits and orientation.  Hell, just type ‘rick perry’ into the google search bar and the top suggestion is ‘rick perry gay’.  I’m not saying Rick Perry is gay, I’m just saying he’s not definitely not gay (wink, that one’s for you, Bachmann).  It only took a few days for a Ron Paul supporter to place this beauty of an ad in the Austin Chronicle:

How much do you love that the acronym for the Committee Against Sexual Hypocrisy is CASH?

The Week just published (like, while I was writing this) a collection of Perry’s most controversial moments.  I’d totally forgot about the pray for rain thing!  And to think it only took a little bit of shock therapy and some profuse body sweat to push Thomas Eagleton off the McGovern ticket.  The bottom line: Perry’s gonna have to do some gymnastic campaigning to overcome a lot of this weirdness, and we all know why we watch the gymnastics – it’s for that golden moment of bone and soul crushing defeat when they land headfirst on the mat.  Goddamn, I love me some political bloodsport.

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Smelly Movie

New Spy Kids 4 this weekend will have Aroma Scope:


Can’t wait to smell those little kids as they save the world.

Oh and they got rid of Antonio Bandaras and put in Joel McHale…


Can’t wait till this new technology gets used in porno…

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Fatty cakes.

I the Person versus We the People

by Wendy McElroy

Years ago, an overzealous conference staffer decided that Murray Rothbard needed to lose some weight for the sake of the movement. Thus, she made a cutting remark about the hefty dessert on his plate. Murray jabbed the cake with his fork and lifted a mouthful high into the air, defiantly declaring, "Every calorie says yes to life!"

I was reminded of the incident by a recent article in the Boston Globe that opened,

"Hey, fatty! Pull that doughnut out of your pie hole! You look like a pig, and you are costing me, and every other taxpayer, billions of dollars in unnecessary health care each year!"

How do you like my new public service ad campaign, designed to stigmatize the overweight and the obese in the same way smokers have been?

A great many people yearn to tell others what to eat, not to smoke, how much to drink, not to add salt, to avoid trans fats, how to exercise, what to weigh — and they long to do so in a self-righteous manner. The political expression of their yearning is the nanny state: a government that extensively controls personal behavior in the name of protecting peoples’ welfare, especially in the areas of health and safety.

The meddlers’ self-righteousness is buttressed by nanny-state programs, like Obama’s healthcare plan, that legally shift the price of "bad" behavior from the individual onto society. Society, because of these expensive programs, claims a right to dictate "proper" behavior to the erring individual.

A key principle of philosophical individualism is being systematically rejected by the nanny state: methodological individualism. In his magnum opus Human Action, the Austrian economist Ludwig von Mises offered a description of "the principle of methodological individualism":

First we must realize that all actions are performed by individuals.… If we scrutinize the meaning of the various actions performed by individuals we must necessarily learn everything about the actions of the collective whole. For a social collective has no existence and reality outside of the individual members’ actions.

In short, there is no flesh-and-blood entity known as "society" that has an existence independent of its individual members. "Society" is an abstraction that arises from the massive interaction of individuals who function within a specific context. In terms of forming the abstraction "society," the required context may be nothing more than individuals living within certain geographical boundaries.

Another example of a collective whole is "the family," which consists entirely of its individual members and has no existence without them.

In reducing groups to their basic unit — the individual — Mises in no way denied the importance of collective abstractions. Quite the contrary. He explained,

Methodological individualism, far from contesting the significance of such collective wholes, considers it as one of its main tasks to describe and to analyze their becoming and their disappearing, their changing structures, and their operation. And it chooses the only method fitted to solve this problem satisfactorily.

Methodological individualism is a powerful and necessary analytical tool to discover the principles by which a group of people interact, and to understand the flow of history and the institutions of their society. It is the best method by which to understand how the world itself functions.

Mises’s stress on methodological individualism did not arise in a vacuum. It was in response to the theory of social holism that became popular in the early 20th century. Social holists claimed that collective wholes had an independent existence that was far more important than the sum of their individual parts. The collective was greater and more consequential than the individual.

Holists often drew parallels between biology and sociology. They argued that higher-level principles were needed to describe a complex biological organism than were used to explain its constituent molecules. So, too, they claimed with human society. New principles and characteristics emerged within a society that were entirely different from those that applied to individuals. In other words, there were rules that applied only to collective wholes, not to individual members.

Moreover, these emergent rules functioned according to a scientific analysis that did not apply to individuals. For example, consider the Keynesian idea of monetary calculation. Keynesian economics applied to society writ large but not to a housewife trying to balance her budget. Thus, a double standard of action and evaluation was embedded into politics — and this often pitted the interests of "society" against those of the individual.

Marxists, especially, accused methodological individualism of being "atomism" or reductionism. Some Marxists went so far as to claim it was the individual, and not society, that was the abstraction, because a human being (as we know that concept) could not exist without society. As Mises observed, "The notion of an individual, say the critics, is an empty abstraction. Real man is necessarily always a member of a social whole."

Karl Marx himself argued this point. He contended that an individual who had been born and immediately abandoned on a desert island to grow up in total isolation would not be a human being. In essence, he argued that human beings are social organisms who cannot be lifted from their defining context and remain human. The adult Robinson Crusoe who had been shipwrecked on a desert island was clearly a human being, but his humanity resulted from a prior history of socialization. Thus, reversing methodological individualism, Marx claimed that the collective called "society" created its individual members.

Classical liberals and Austrian economists countered that a person raised in utter isolation would still be a human being with human characteristics. For example, he would have a scale of preferences upon which he would act to achieve the highest one first.

Admittedly, without social interaction, major potentialities within the person would not develop or be expressed. For example, there would have no reason to develop language skills. Were the isolated individual to be rescued, however, his unexpressed potentials might well emerge. But whatever emerged would come from his own inherent human potential and would result from the individual interactions he experienced, not from the abstraction known as "society." "Society" could not define an individual’s humanity into existence.

Classical liberals did not dispute that a group has a dynamic different than that of a man in isolation. After all, only in society do intellectual and economic exchanges arise. But they believed that the differences could be explained by breaking the group dynamic down into the intricate interactions of the individuals comprising it.

For example, everything about a group conversation could be broken down into the sentences, body language, etc., of the individuals involved. Nothing about the conversation required further principles of explanation. (This does not simplify the analytical process. Indeed, Mises spent much of his career refining the highly complex "science of human action" known as praxeology.)

This methodological approach also worked in analyzing the complex collective called "the state." Everything about the state could be reduced to the individual actions of its members, who were fully and individually responsible for those actions. As Mises explained,

The hangman, not the state, executes a criminal. It is the meaning of those concerned that discerns in the hangman’s action an action of the state.

Individuals who look at the hangman and see the state in action do so only because they have created the abstraction "the state" to provide a context. But all that truly exists are the individuals who are acting.

"The person who declares your personal behavior to be unacceptable is speaking in his own capacity as an individual meddler and know-it-all, not as a voice for the greater good."

Methodological individualism has profound implications for the nanny state. If a collective is a "mental process" within individuals, not a concrete entity with independent existence, then it makes no sense to claim there are unique rules that apply to a collective but not to the individuals who compose it. A double standard makes no sense because all that truly exists are the individuals.

Moreover, each person speaks for himself, not for society. The person who declares your personal behavior to be unacceptable is speaking in his own capacity as an individual meddler and know-it-all, not as a voice for the greater good.

The 19th-century American individualist anarchist Josiah Warren expressed much the same principle as Mises did, and he gave it practical application. Warren began as a follower of the communitarian Robert Owen. Warren was one of the original participants in the famous New Harmony community, which began in the 1820s; he saw first-hand what was wrong with the organizing principle of socialist communities. After decades and decades of discussion by utopian planners — both in England and America, New Harmony put their theories to a practical test. It took less than a year and a half for New Harmony to dissolve. Warren blamed the community’s failure largely upon its demand for communalism, which stifled individualism.

Warren wrote in his publication Periodical Letter,

it seemed that the difference of opinion, tastes and purposes increased just in proportion to the demand for conformity.… It appeared that it was nature’s own inherent law of diversity that had conquered us.… Our "united interests" were directly at war with the individualities of persons and circumstances and the instinct of self-preservation.

Josiah Warren’s disillusionment led him to conclude that social harmony required a radical individualism that he labeled "the Sovereignty of the Individual." In his work Practical Details, Warren explained the meaning of this phrase,

Society must be so converted as to preserve the SOVEREIGNTY OF EVERY INDIVIDUAL inviolate. That it must avoid all combinations and connections of persons and interests, and all other arrangements which will not leave every individual at all times at liberty to dispose of his or her person, and time, and property in any manner in which his or her feelings or judgment may dictate, WITHOUT INVOLVING THE PERSONS OR INTERESTS OF OTHERS.

Thus, Warren planted the seeds of a fundamentally individualist approach to society, which was further developed by the next generation. His protégé Benjamin Tucker expanded on this theory, maintaining that society did not exist — only individuals did. Across the Atlantic in England, Auberon Herbert declared,

The State is created by the individuals. It is fashioned and refashioned by them at their own will and pleasure … for their use and service, and when it does not satisfy their requirements, they pull it to pieces and reconstruct it. Men throughout their lives are included in many wholes.… Schools, colleges, clubs, associations, joint stock companies, cooperative companies, political parties, village or town organisations, and then lastly comes national organisation or the State; but in all these cases, the organisation is created by the individuals themselves.… [How] is it possible for any constructed and reconstructed things to be greater than those who construct it and reconstruct it? To indulge in any such imagination is to imitate the carver of idols, who, when with his own hands he has fashioned the log of wood, falls on his knees before it and calls it his god. (Free Life, July 1898)

The person who assumes the mantle of society in order to self-righteously dictate how you must live has carved an idol called "the greater good" and has fallen on his knees to worship it as god. But there is no social good greater than the individual, without whom society itself does not exist. And any man who demands that others sacrifice themselves to a false god deserves only disdain.


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Peeing on a plane.

The D-team more like the P-team:

‘Sandy’ Vietze of the US development ski team decided it would be a good idea to golden shower an 11yr old during an overnight flight to NY.

"He was intoxicated and was charged, as it’s against the law to pee on another person," said a PA spokeswoman.


But there is more~!

"Contrary to some news reports, the young man did not urinate on their daughter, he urinated on the floor next to her seat."


I still don’t care. If this kids trying to be a sports legend he needs to learn how to party like the big boys. If wade bogs can drink 64 Miller lights on a cross country trip, this kid should at least be able to make it to the onboard bano. JS.


Now because I know you were already singing it.

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