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Archive for March, 2009

From Reuters:

The Italian industrial group first announced its plans for a partnership with Chrysler in January. It is to give technology for small cars and access to foreign markets in exchange for a stake in Chrysler and entry into the U.S. market.

That Italian industrial group is, of course, Fiat. GM, having not yet realized it’s infamous Hummer division has long become a lead balloon, and Chrysler, which seems unable to come up with anything that won’t self-destructed after 1500 miles, find themselves in such dyer straits that we had to bring in Sal Tessio and the gang in to “make ’em and offer they can’t refuse.”

News of the possible merger drove Fiat’s share up over 10% on the DJ Stoxx auto index, and the whole world shrugged and continued to buy non-perishable goods for the impending fall of civilization.

GM, of course, doesn’t benefit directly from the merger with Fiat and will most likely be forced to declare bankruptcy and restructure. The good news for them, a built in slogan. “GM, at least we’re not trying to sell you Fiats.” Anyway, who needs the Italian “technology for small cars” when you’ve got the Geo division packed up somewhere.

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but I’m here to remind you:

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Potentially deranged woman in a trench coat:

“…Fuck you!  And yo’ bus.  And yo’ po-lice car.  And yo’ Molotov cocktail.  I’ll blow yo’ fuckin’ house up!”

Then, turning to a man seated on a bench, in a maternal voice:

“Hi.  Eating your lunch?  That food’s gonna taste funny.  Go ‘head, take a bite.”

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MC Steele strikes again, via TPM:

Steele appeared on CNN this afternoon, and was asked by host Don Lemon whether he’s ever considered running for president, and right off the bat he managed to give the sensible, correct answer: “No. I’m telling you, I’m looking you in the eye honestly and telling you that, without blinking and without hesitation. Straight up.”

But then he was asked if he would ever consider doing it, and he kept the door open should the opportunity arise — even speaking in an optimistic, cheerful tone. “But, you know, God has a way of revealing stuff to you, and making it real for you, through others,” he said. “And if that’s part of the plan, it’ll be the plan. We may have this conversation in eight, ten, 12 years and you’ll sit back and you’ll play the tape back and say, ‘Oh, look at what you said!’ But it’ll be because that’s where God wants me to be at that time.”

From anybody else, this might be misconstrued as the early stages of psychosis, but this is MC Steele, word is bond.

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Thank you Hollywood for continuing to whittle away at the already emaciated vestiges of my childhood. Do you know the difference between a book and a super-HD-CGI-greenscreen-live action-combo-adaptation? No you don’t, which is why you keep doing this to me!

And I’d like to address something to Spike Jonze (aka Adam Spiegel, yea, that’s right, his real name isn’t Spike Jonze with a fucking ‘z’): this douchebaggery has got to stop. The old skate video stuff you did like “Magic Skateboard”‘ and all that was cool, Being John Malkovich was at least watchable, but what the fuck man! You haven’t done anything worth shit other than marrying Coppola’s daughter, and she turned out to be a better director than you, and she dumped your slacking ass anyway! Alright, I’m done ranting now… you stupid no talent dick.

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Hours of Juvenille Fun

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What the McFuck!?

A tip: get high first

Also noteworthy:

And:

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