Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for December, 2008

I have no intention of starting a photo of the ( ) or anything like that, but I couldn’t help lifting this gem from a New York Times article.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

If Mr. Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald is to be believed, then his first novel, This Side of Paradise, contains some particularly useful information. The novel briefly references Yale’s infamous Skull and Bones club and claims that if the name of the club is spoken out loud any members must stand up and walk out.

If this is really the case, why didn’t anyone just yell out “Skull and Bones” in the middle of the 2004 inauguration?

Read Full Post »


I’d hate to say I write for one of those complaining social commentary blogs that condemn stupid things that aren’t really stupid. But if my test subjects show any sense of accuracy I think you’ll find this “stupid thing” is pretty fucking.. well.. stupid. I’ll begin but I’ll proceed with caution, as I’d hate to step on any toes here.
First off let me say that I do in fact enjoy facebook, and if I saw Mark Zuckerberg at a party I’d probably refrain from dumping a beer on his nerdy head. And believe me, I do truly love seeing the pictures of people: I know, sort of know, would like to know and once in a while people I’d never like to know or even have any idea of how to start getting to know them. You know?
But there is one type of picture that has really been gnawing at my sanity as of late. It doesn’t cause a sense of outrage or even induce a “what the fuck” but it has been geometrically increasing in frequency and I’d like to take a minute to mention something before it gets out of control.


Why do you zit faced kids love taken pics at a sports game in which, typically a couple, is shown in their teams garb, smiling, all the while some D-bag in a band uniform runs across the field waving a flag. So you and your BF or BFF or BGF or BFFL went to the State vs. Tech game, big woop, I just ate 2 Cornish Hens and washed it down with a glass of steak.. Don’t go hitting the close x on your browser just yet. I think you need to hear me out on this one. I totally get it, people want to show everyone what they’ve been up to or how happy they can pretend to be.Great you want to show your school spirit by proving to everyone you went to homecoming but come on, enough is enough already.
What about the poor people you’re forcing to take these pictures, oh sure they may seem more then happy to take them, but in their heads there thinking “Jesus Christ I’ve never seen 2 uglier people in my life, I feel bad for who ever they show these pictures to, their mothers must have cursed the day they were born.” Worse yet you decide to take the picture yourself, you lean back real far in order to get the field in there. The self picture is not a photographic technique, its not like a well done multiple exposure or tilt shift, everyone knows that the big gray thing on the side of the pic is your arm you fucking chump. And why the hell do you think it was a good idea to take a picture of some random action play that is happening 900 feet away from you. If we wanted to see what the game looked like we’d watch Sports Center you sissy. I mean sure, if you’re at the 1986 world series you just got your new Pentax take some memorable shots, but come on look at these people they look like Jack Asses. The Cannon Cool Shot was created for ease, not for you to take horrible pictures of your atrocious face. We all know you got them some where, so do me and yourself a favor and delete them please. Seriously, go out and take pictures of your hot friends drunk at a bar, those are much more fun to look at.

Read Full Post »

Victory Brewing Company’s Hop Wallop is one of my favorite brews. One time I was down in Pennsylvania with Ben, Carrie and Becky. We bought some beers, but we also bought a case of the Wallop (it’s made down there), but no one else would drink it, so I made it my mission to finish the case in two days. It was a delicious self-challenge that resulted in Victory (pun intended). – Ed G.

Read Full Post »

Read Full Post »

No, I’m not gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that). No, I’m not in jail. In fact, this has nothing to do with my dad. It’s better.

If you haven’t read it by now the you can find it here. Too lazy to read? Here’s the summary: 18-year old Elizabeth Frisinger was on a class trip and decided to make it memorable; but instead of taking pictures of vibrant sunsets or sending postcards to her friends and family she decided it was time to finally get rid of that pesky hymen of hers at the beach. After a romantic and cliche “business meeting” on the beach with undisclosed male partner she decided to let her friend know how amazing a first time can be. Instead of sending the message to her friend she accidentally sent it to, drumroll, her dad. Oops.

I have made mistakes in my life but none so monumentally mentally handicapped as the previous. It would occur to me that, knowing the sensitive (and possibly chaffed) nature of this situation, I might try and be discrete about this while still on holiday. Not Lizzy. Apparently, she never learned her calculus because Sex + Text = Mess (which immediately follows “U + Me = Us” – thanks 2Gether). I can see how this would be embarassing enough with Dad knowing all about the dirty bird so his reaction is understandable. She’s in shit up to her waist and I can feel her stuttering explanation in my head: “I didn’t mean to…I wanted to…I love him…our son’s name will be…” To recap, she banged, she messaged, she got caught and you would think that would be the end of it. Wrong.

To make matters worse one of her colleagues thought this story to be so humorous it should be shared the Internet around. This lit up like the Hollywood hills. Not only does her dad know she’s an easy rider but now every Joe and Jane Newsreader can see her high school photo and the text and she will never live this down. My advice: write a book, make a porn, live like royalty.

Read Full Post »

SNL Digital Short – Jizz in my pants – 12/06/08 – watch more funny videos

A new one from Andy Sandberg. Gipsyman predicts this won’t be as big as “Dick in a Box” but it will get annoying. Until then, enjoy.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »